Post by JoJo on Jan 20, 2006 16:53:22 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
This won't be long this time. For whatever reason everything still feels so raw to me. I'm having so many conflicting feelings that at this point, I feel most comfortable keeping them to myself. However, I loved Kyle's writing style and reading the first episode. I feel a bit foolish but I realize that's kind of the point of having episodes air!
I asked Kyle if it was OK to share some of my confessionals that were not aired during episode one. I do respect Kyle and his story line, but wanted to share how I was feeling about people at the beginning of the game, because it really wasn't reflected in all of my bitchiness, carrot dangling, and so forth....
So, here are confessionals copied and pasted from my journal during episode one. Hope to talk to many of you some more as the weeks progress. Please feel free to ask any questions or get in my face whenever necessary!
confessional:
My loyalties coming into this game and knowing few people are like this: I love my Christopher. Yes, we fought in season one and yes he screwed me in some sense, but I loved him the whole game and we have stayed in touch literally ever since. That means a great deal to me. Some of his very best friends are in the game so I am aware that I may not be his number one ally, but I do trust him and I will be loyal to him no matter what. Jake.....people know I love him but its also been downplayed a bit too. I love this kid. We never even got to know each other until our game was over, but we have really built a very unique friendship and I won't turn my back on him in a game. Beth....wow....we connected really easily. I just like her so much. We laugh, we have a great deal in common, we like and dislike many of the same things. However, I'd be a fool to ignore the fact that Beth is d**ned good. She played season 4 so well, and several people like me who thought they were in good with her, wound up hurt and out of the game. I do trust her though, but I need to keep in the back of my mind, the fact that like Christopher, she has much closer friends in this game than me.
If I had to predict who some of my favorites will be by the game's end, its Kyle, Jenne and Jamie. We had instant connections too. In fact I can see myself trusting Kyle as much as I do Jake and Chris. Its always scary to feel connected to so many people because obviously you cannot remain loyal to each of them.
I've wanted Missie out since I read season 2. The constant sexual references are juvenile and a tad annoying, especially since she is a mother and wife. Her cruelty toward Amy in season 2 has always remained in my mind. I will admit however, that our chats during the past few days have been nice and I can see why others would like her. Booby Jon asking for an alliance before he confirmed my gender just made me write him off as a goofball. I like Angie but just feel like she would want to see me out of this game, as payback from Antarctica. She makes me nervous, but I'm always glad when she is around. Tenzil was also a pleasant surprise. I didn't like him in season 4 but he's actually pretty cool one on one. Lisa is the only one I haven't met.
Not knowing if we are in tribes, all playing individually, voting off more than one person at a time, is extrememly difficult. Technically the game hasn't even started and I'm already exhausted. Twenty people trying to get to know each other is HARD.
Here's hoping Missie doesn't win immunity tonight....
hi its me again....
I feel ridiculous reading how I felt initially about Missie. I love you girl!!!
This won't be long this time. For whatever reason everything still feels so raw to me. I'm having so many conflicting feelings that at this point, I feel most comfortable keeping them to myself. However, I loved Kyle's writing style and reading the first episode. I feel a bit foolish but I realize that's kind of the point of having episodes air!
I asked Kyle if it was OK to share some of my confessionals that were not aired during episode one. I do respect Kyle and his story line, but wanted to share how I was feeling about people at the beginning of the game, because it really wasn't reflected in all of my bitchiness, carrot dangling, and so forth....
So, here are confessionals copied and pasted from my journal during episode one. Hope to talk to many of you some more as the weeks progress. Please feel free to ask any questions or get in my face whenever necessary!
confessional:
My loyalties coming into this game and knowing few people are like this: I love my Christopher. Yes, we fought in season one and yes he screwed me in some sense, but I loved him the whole game and we have stayed in touch literally ever since. That means a great deal to me. Some of his very best friends are in the game so I am aware that I may not be his number one ally, but I do trust him and I will be loyal to him no matter what. Jake.....people know I love him but its also been downplayed a bit too. I love this kid. We never even got to know each other until our game was over, but we have really built a very unique friendship and I won't turn my back on him in a game. Beth....wow....we connected really easily. I just like her so much. We laugh, we have a great deal in common, we like and dislike many of the same things. However, I'd be a fool to ignore the fact that Beth is d**ned good. She played season 4 so well, and several people like me who thought they were in good with her, wound up hurt and out of the game. I do trust her though, but I need to keep in the back of my mind, the fact that like Christopher, she has much closer friends in this game than me.
If I had to predict who some of my favorites will be by the game's end, its Kyle, Jenne and Jamie. We had instant connections too. In fact I can see myself trusting Kyle as much as I do Jake and Chris. Its always scary to feel connected to so many people because obviously you cannot remain loyal to each of them.
I've wanted Missie out since I read season 2. The constant sexual references are juvenile and a tad annoying, especially since she is a mother and wife. Her cruelty toward Amy in season 2 has always remained in my mind. I will admit however, that our chats during the past few days have been nice and I can see why others would like her. Booby Jon asking for an alliance before he confirmed my gender just made me write him off as a goofball. I like Angie but just feel like she would want to see me out of this game, as payback from Antarctica. She makes me nervous, but I'm always glad when she is around. Tenzil was also a pleasant surprise. I didn't like him in season 4 but he's actually pretty cool one on one. Lisa is the only one I haven't met.
Not knowing if we are in tribes, all playing individually, voting off more than one person at a time, is extrememly difficult. Technically the game hasn't even started and I'm already exhausted. Twenty people trying to get to know each other is HARD.
Here's hoping Missie doesn't win immunity tonight....
hi its me again....
I feel ridiculous reading how I felt initially about Missie. I love you girl!!!